Holla! I'm back and I just gonna say what you're gonna read it now is really came from my heart. I'm typing this and it's came from my heart. For those who really know me, they know that I'm super ego girl, hot tempered and stick on what I said. What I mean is, every single word that came out from my mouth, it's not just a word! But, I realize that put my ego away bring me to the door of happiness. Why I'm told this to you guys? My experience in put my ego away and be so patient really bring me a sweetness that I never get before. Like I've told you, I'm super ego girl. But, there is a boy who teach me if I want to be happy, I really need to sacrifice my ego and be patient. He is amazing! He teach me in a rough way. He is like throwing a pail of shit straight to my face!
Dealing with me who is hot tempered, stubborn, ego is not as easy as abc! I admit it! I'm not a toy that you can play a stupid drama or start any war or games. Cause I really show to you, who am I. I'm well played in stupid drama, games! I really gonna kick your ass off! That's me. So could you imagine how hard am I to be handle? He use really smooth and suddenly be so rough which make me realize that having a high ego is killing my happiness!
I'm not gonna tell you who is that boy! Let it be my secret. I gonna reveal when the time is coming!. We are start as friends and to be honest we're still a friend. Although both side know that we're falling to each other. But we decide to not having any relationship cause we don't wanna ruin our friendship by having a stupid relationship! We are closed to each other on the time that I'm playing volleyball in my college as same as him. (Well, he is not an officially a volley player) I'm a volleyball player and representing my college and my team and I gonna have training every evening. For your information, I'm his junior and he is my senior. Our age got 2 years different. Now I'm 18 years old and he is 20.
To make this post short, I just gonna say we're love to sharing problems and we're caring to each other for few months. To be honest, I'm falling with his attitude (he is good in Islam too) without I realize. I realize when he told me that he is fall in love with my bedmate which is my junior I felt hurt and jealous for no reasons. The first questions that came out from my mouth is "Did I fall in love with him?" and for sure that I gonna deny it. At the same night, he is asking my junior number and for sure that I gonna gave it to him. Then on the teachers day, he make a performance to entertain our lecture. He is good in beat-box and yes! He is hot that day. People felt impressed with his performance. Oh yeah, forget to told you on that time I was listen that he have an a fair with an accounting student. (He is not a playboy! Just a sweet talker type). After the performance I saw that my bedmate want to take a photograph with him.
My heart turns into thousand pieces. I felt like gonna cry. I felt so jealous and I decide to back to my dorm and I'm on my bed and fully in my cozy blanket. I'm crying in silent. While wondering why should I be so jealous on, why I'm felt hurted! Why my chest felt tight till hard for me to breathe? I'm crying in silent. Then few minutes, my dormmate came back and the thought that I'm sleeping. In fact I'm still crying. I decide to sleep to forget everything that I've see. Then, when I felt asleep my bedmate is coming back and woke me up. I wipe my tears to hide what I felt. Then she ask his number phone. While smiling sweetly, I gave her. She looks so happy. She showed me the picture and my heart turns to pieces again! I hold my self to cry. I told her that I'm felt sleepy. Then, I'm go to sleep and forget those problems. Every night, I will have a call till we felt asleep.Can you imagine how closed we are? and I'm forget to tell you that he is super ego man! He is sulking for no reasons, he change his number phone for no reasons, he is giving bluetick for no reasons guys! FOR NO REASONS! A lot of my friends told me to leave him but we're so closed and I can't.
Then, my bedmate told me that they are having a sweet conversation all days. One night, I'm hanging for supper with my best friend and we're eating that time.Suddenly she (my bedmate) came and she told me that they are in the verge to have a relationship. She show the texts to me happily while showing me the sweet conversation. I'm reading to those texts, I'm smiling sweetly! But inside, I really wanna crying out loud. I'm holding my best friends hand tightly and she was like handheld my hand tightly as the signal for me to stay strong and refrain from crying. Then my bedmate walk away. I'm turning to my best friend and tears are falling down. Again! I'm crying. I felt really pain. On that time I realize that I'm fall in love with him. But I decide to make it secret cause I don't cause of my feelings towards him, I ruin my friendship. He is a good listener, good advisor! I don't wanna lost him. That is what have been played in my mind.I don't care if I'm crying! As long as I don't lost a friend which really help me to stand still facing the haters. Entertain me the whole day! He is like a sunshine that lighting up my days!
After a month, he had a big argument with my bedmate and that account girl and he ignored both of them! Few weeks, he ask me that I'm in loved with him? ( cause he noticed that I'm so caring and a little bit spoiled with him.) (He asked me to be honest or the friendship will end!) I've no choice, and I'm telling him the truth and he thanked me cause he is in the same feeling. I feel so grateful! He is the one that I'm waiting now mine!
So, what I'm trying to say that be patient and put the ego away is really bring you to the door of happiness. I'm a type of girl that so ego, have been lose with him cause the feelings towards him. If I rethink, I'm not that strong, that patient to deal with someone like him. But he did it and I realize that if I'm stay being so selfish and ego I might lost him now. Thank to Allah cause He gave me this strength to deal with.
So, I hope that my true story give you lessons. I wish that you guys will met your happiness soon.
XOXO,
~Nabylla
Dealing with me who is hot tempered, stubborn, ego is not as easy as abc! I admit it! I'm not a toy that you can play a stupid drama or start any war or games. Cause I really show to you, who am I. I'm well played in stupid drama, games! I really gonna kick your ass off! That's me. So could you imagine how hard am I to be handle? He use really smooth and suddenly be so rough which make me realize that having a high ego is killing my happiness!
I'm not gonna tell you who is that boy! Let it be my secret. I gonna reveal when the time is coming!. We are start as friends and to be honest we're still a friend. Although both side know that we're falling to each other. But we decide to not having any relationship cause we don't wanna ruin our friendship by having a stupid relationship! We are closed to each other on the time that I'm playing volleyball in my college as same as him. (Well, he is not an officially a volley player) I'm a volleyball player and representing my college and my team and I gonna have training every evening. For your information, I'm his junior and he is my senior. Our age got 2 years different. Now I'm 18 years old and he is 20.
To make this post short, I just gonna say we're love to sharing problems and we're caring to each other for few months. To be honest, I'm falling with his attitude (he is good in Islam too) without I realize. I realize when he told me that he is fall in love with my bedmate which is my junior I felt hurt and jealous for no reasons. The first questions that came out from my mouth is "Did I fall in love with him?" and for sure that I gonna deny it. At the same night, he is asking my junior number and for sure that I gonna gave it to him. Then on the teachers day, he make a performance to entertain our lecture. He is good in beat-box and yes! He is hot that day. People felt impressed with his performance. Oh yeah, forget to told you on that time I was listen that he have an a fair with an accounting student. (He is not a playboy! Just a sweet talker type). After the performance I saw that my bedmate want to take a photograph with him.
My heart turns into thousand pieces. I felt like gonna cry. I felt so jealous and I decide to back to my dorm and I'm on my bed and fully in my cozy blanket. I'm crying in silent. While wondering why should I be so jealous on, why I'm felt hurted! Why my chest felt tight till hard for me to breathe? I'm crying in silent. Then few minutes, my dormmate came back and the thought that I'm sleeping. In fact I'm still crying. I decide to sleep to forget everything that I've see. Then, when I felt asleep my bedmate is coming back and woke me up. I wipe my tears to hide what I felt. Then she ask his number phone. While smiling sweetly, I gave her. She looks so happy. She showed me the picture and my heart turns to pieces again! I hold my self to cry. I told her that I'm felt sleepy. Then, I'm go to sleep and forget those problems. Every night, I will have a call till we felt asleep.Can you imagine how closed we are? and I'm forget to tell you that he is super ego man! He is sulking for no reasons, he change his number phone for no reasons, he is giving bluetick for no reasons guys! FOR NO REASONS! A lot of my friends told me to leave him but we're so closed and I can't.
Then, my bedmate told me that they are having a sweet conversation all days. One night, I'm hanging for supper with my best friend and we're eating that time.Suddenly she (my bedmate) came and she told me that they are in the verge to have a relationship. She show the texts to me happily while showing me the sweet conversation. I'm reading to those texts, I'm smiling sweetly! But inside, I really wanna crying out loud. I'm holding my best friends hand tightly and she was like handheld my hand tightly as the signal for me to stay strong and refrain from crying. Then my bedmate walk away. I'm turning to my best friend and tears are falling down. Again! I'm crying. I felt really pain. On that time I realize that I'm fall in love with him. But I decide to make it secret cause I don't cause of my feelings towards him, I ruin my friendship. He is a good listener, good advisor! I don't wanna lost him. That is what have been played in my mind.I don't care if I'm crying! As long as I don't lost a friend which really help me to stand still facing the haters. Entertain me the whole day! He is like a sunshine that lighting up my days!
After a month, he had a big argument with my bedmate and that account girl and he ignored both of them! Few weeks, he ask me that I'm in loved with him? ( cause he noticed that I'm so caring and a little bit spoiled with him.) (He asked me to be honest or the friendship will end!) I've no choice, and I'm telling him the truth and he thanked me cause he is in the same feeling. I feel so grateful! He is the one that I'm waiting now mine!
So, what I'm trying to say that be patient and put the ego away is really bring you to the door of happiness. I'm a type of girl that so ego, have been lose with him cause the feelings towards him. If I rethink, I'm not that strong, that patient to deal with someone like him. But he did it and I realize that if I'm stay being so selfish and ego I might lost him now. Thank to Allah cause He gave me this strength to deal with.
So, I hope that my true story give you lessons. I wish that you guys will met your happiness soon.
XOXO,
~Nabylla
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